Thursday, October 20, 2005

I have discovered that I can write for me! I like me, like my subjects, topics and picks, and have decided I like myself enough to start feeling like I can do anything!

Spent 'way too long trying to have some self-confidence.

True self-confidence is about liking yourself! I finally do. Spent a long, long time, not doing that.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

seeing a new landscape

Here is an excellent quote I found online which I want to share with everyone!

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust

This voyage we all are taking-this journey through life- this search for new meanings, discoveries of treasures heretofore undreamed of but laying upon the landscapes of our lives and waiting to be discovered.. we've only to see with new eyes! New understanding..

This which we understand so little of.. "seeing with new eyes".. having our understanding opened.. finding new realization because we discover a secret.. a key to our own souls.. and it comes like heavy rain upon a dry land when we have prayed with all our heart, as humbly as we can, asking our Father in Heaven for greater humility and greater discernment. In all things. Yes it is a secret... has been a secret.

Why?

Few can handle deep humility. The greater the humility, the more we understand that humility brings the heart closer to God. That can be very scary. To be able to handle this kind of humility is to place our hearts out there where they can be trampled on, kicked and beaten and pushed around, treated badly, hurt deeply. Then the discernment begins to flood your eyes. It is blinding. Even though it comes at first in very tiny doses. But the more He sees that you can handle, the greater the heartache of knowing more deeply of what Jesus suffered. We can't take it... we can't handle it.

I don't expect many to want to believe this, and thats alright. It is all about personal choice.

I've told lots of people whom I go to church with. Some who don't.

It's uncomfortable and unacceptable.

I experimented upon my own life, heart and soul. And was sorry I did it. To see with new eyes does not go away. But to live in denial .. well, that becomes easier after a while.